Energetic Cord Cutting

Learn more about the practice of cord cutting to clear negative energetic ties and how it can help you move forwards

What is an energetic cord and how are they formed?

As a species, we are hardwired to connect. We’re social creatures and developing meaningful relationships and bonds with people is literally within our DNA. If you imagine the cavemen, they learnt pretty quickly that connecting with others was important – they always hunted in groups and never alone. They realised that community and connection equalled safety. You could say that their survival quite literally depended on connecting with each other.

We all have an energetic field and when we interact with others mentally, physically or spiritually, we create an energetic cord with one another. An energy cord is not a physical substance and therefore is not affected by distance but instead, is made from energy that exists between people who have an emotional connection, and it transfers emotional energy between those to whom it is connected. Even if we are no longer physically interacting with another person, we may still be connected with them energetically. Cords can be formed with co-workers, friends, family members, lovers, ex-spouses and even groups and communities of people. However, energetic cords are not exclusive to just people. We can also form attachments to places, behavioural patterns, habits, addictions and even objects. For example, we could have moved jobs but still feel bitter and resentful towards our old place of work or, we could have an addiction which we’re trying to move past but keep on identifying with our old behaviours which prevent us from breaking free from the addition.

Energy cords attach themselves to your body’s energy centres, which are known as the Chakras. For example, an energetic cord that is formed between yourself and an ex-partner will mostly likely be connected to your heart chakra, or perhaps your sacral chakra. An energetic cord formed with a person who makes you feel powerless will most probably be attached to your Solar Plexus as it is this chakra that governs confidence and personal power. A difficult relationship you had with a family member growing up may be connected to your root chakra if it made you feel unstable and fearful.

No two energy cords will ever look and function the same. They will always vary based on depth of connection, length of interaction, and mental state of the two individuals that they are attached to. Some cords can linger with you for longer than others and have a more profound impact on your life. The more time and energy you devote to a connection, the more intense and more impactful the connection will be in your life and the stronger the cord will be.

What is cord cutting?

“Cutting cords” is not as vicious as it sounds, nor does it come from a place of unkindness or hate. It does not mean that you want a person to vanish from your life but instead, it means that you are willing to let go of the dysfunctional parts of certain relationships. When cutting a cord, you energetically release that person, place, object, belief, etc. setting the intention that you no longer wish to be negatively affected by it. Your physical bond with that entity may still exist, however, the negative attachment to that person, situation, place, etc. won’t.

It’s important to note that by ‘cutting cords’ with someone doesn’t mean you have to stop loving, interacting, or caring for a person. You are simply releasing the negative and emotionally draining aspects of that relationship and setting yourself free from the resulting negative energy. In certain situations, however, it may be necessary to cease interacting with someone once you have cut the cord with that person. For example, if you are trying to move on from a relationship and just can’t get yourself to “let go” it may be because the other person is holding you back. At such times, it may be best to not interact with the person, or to minimize contact.

Why might we wish to cut an energetic cord?

Everything in this universe has a certain vibrational frequency. Every word, sound, action, feeling, and thought. Painful and traumatic experiences borne from a relationship also have a frequency. When left with unresolved emotions and feelings, these frequencies get embedded in your soul memory. They then attract similar frequencies, and as a result, you keep getting into patterns that don’t serve you well. You attract people, experiences, and situations that resonate with the frequency of the pain, abuse, anger, grief, betrayal, or heartbreak – cords of which have still not been severed. This creates a continuous cycle of internal stress, failed relationships, and energetic blockages that ultimately leads to unhappiness.

You don’t need to be physically interacting or connecting with another person to be affected by their energy. This is often the case in respect of ex romantic partners. When a relationship ends, our energy can still be tied to that person, even though we are no longer with them and no longer see them. This is especially true if the relationship ended suddenly and unexpectedly or where one person didn’t want the relationship to end but the other did. The energetic bond that was created during the relationship remains but instead of the good emotions and feelings that used to flow through the cord, these can become quickly replaced by negative feelings and emotions such as anger, hurt, bitterness, sadness, jealousy, etc. and can keep us stuck and unable to move forwards. These feelings and emotions can also cause us to start writing stories about ourselves and create negative belief patterns. For example, say your ex-partner left you for another person. This could cause a whole range of horrible emotions such as anger, bitterness and jealousy which could lead to you creating an internal narrative about yourself that is simply untrue such as, “I am not good enough” or “I am not lovable”. If this kind of negative belief goes unchecked, it can then risk impacting other areas of your life and before long, you’re telling yourself ‘You’re not good enough for anything’. Once you’ve started identifying with this false story that you’ve created, it can cause blockages within your energy centres leading to a stagnation of negative energy. As you can see, if we allow this energetic bond to keep flowing with negative thoughts, emotions and beliefs, then it can and will affect our current life and also our future and that is why it is important for you to recognise when it is time to release something that is no longer serving you and move forwards with kindness and grace so that you can identify where the real healing needs to take place.

Even if a relationship didn’t end on bad terms, you may find yourself unable to stop thinking about that person, even though they are no longer a part of your life. This can become very emotionally draining. It is therefore very important that you cut all unhealthy energetic cords. This allows past relationships to complete their natural circle and enables you to bring closure for yourself.

When not to cut a cord

Sometimes when we’re hurt, we may lose our perspective in the heat of the moment and just want someone out of our life. Cord cutting isn’t something to do in anger or on a whim. The practice isn’t meant to spite or to hurt someone. In fact, it is regarded as respectful to both parties and empowering for the person carrying out the ritual. It is carried out with love and respect for the other person but most importantly, complete love and respect for yourself. Because you have acknowledged the negative, draining energies of the energetic relationship and you are respecting and honouring yourself by letting go of what no longer serves you.

If you have recently had a relationship breakdown and are still very hurt and resentful then it’s best to wait until you are no longer triggered by any hurt or resentment, you may feel. This is because we may still find ourselves holding onto the relationship and this will create resistance. A cord cutting ritual will work best when your intention is pure and there is no ill feeling.

How to carry out a cord cutting ritual

In order to cut an energetic cord, the most important thing you must do is have true intention. The practice will only work if you are committed to the process and clear in your mind about why it is the right time to release the bond. If you aren’t ready to release an energetic connection, then you will subconsciously start creating resistance and you may find that the cord cutting doesn’t quite work.

Cutting a cord is very simple and is something you can do by yourself if you wish. It’s not necessary to visit an energy healer to carry this out for you although the benefit of this is that a therapist will guide you through the process and ensure your energy is protected.

Before you cut a cord, it’s important to meditate on the intention. To think about the person with love and respect and remember the good things from your relationship. It’s important to be as relaxed as possible and ensure you find a quite space free from distractions. When we carry out a cord cutting ceremony for someone, we guide them through a relaxing meditation before calling in the energy of the other person. We find the most responsive way is to imagine you are somewhere safe and relaxing, such as a deserted beach. You can use the following steps as a guide and build your own cord cutting ceremony/ritual around it:

Imagine you are standing on the sand looking out to sea, you turn and see a silhouette of a person in the distance, walking towards you. As they get closer, you notice that it is your person (or that wish you’re wishing to release). You stand still and watch them walk towards you.
Finally, as they stand before you, notice whereabouts on your body the cord that attaches the both of you is situated.
Once you are ready, look into their eyes and say aloud or in your mind, whatever you wish to say to them. Ensure that any words you say are out of love, not hate or spite. This is a highly personal ritual so you may want to write something down in preparation before you start the ritual. Keep it as simple as possible but also ensure that it is something you feel comfortable saying. Something simple and effective you could use would be something such as:

“I thank you for the times we have shared but with love and light, I now release the ties that bind us, and may we both be free as I reclaim the energy that is mine”.

Once you have said your words, visualise the cord that attaches you both being severed. We like to visualise a huge silver sword swooping down and cutting clean through the cord.
Once the cord has been severed, visualise yourself walking away from this person without looking back.
You need to replace the energy you have just released so, imagine a shower of golden light raining down on you and enveloping your entire body focusing particularly on the area where the cord was attached.

You can use objects to symbolise the severing of the tie. Using two candles bound with twine is a popular and symbolic way to represent the severing of the energetic tie. To do this, take two spell candles and bind them together with twine. We like to wrap the twine using a figure of 8 or ‘infinity’ loop – shown below. You will then light the candles and watch the flame burn through the twine. This offers a visual representation of the cord being ‘cut’.

You can also write your name and the name of your person on a piece of paper and use a pair of scissors to cut through the middle of paper, in-between where you have written both names. Alternatively, write on a piece of paper “I release [name]” and then burn it over a flame, disposing of the ashes in running water.

After the ritual

The most important thing to do after carrying out a cord cutting ritual is to protect your energy. You have just released a lot of built-up negative energy and you will be a little sensitive, energetically wise, at this time. A really powerful way to protect your new energy is by using crystals, particularly black crystals. Black Obsidian is a great crystal to use for protection and carrying a piece with you for the next few days following the ritual will literally keep bad vibes at bay. If you have just released someone who was attached to your heart chakra, Malachite is a beautiful crystal to use, particularly if worn as a necklace so it rests over your heart space.

Taking a restorative bath after your ritual is also very healing as it gives time for relaxation and reflection. Be sure to add a cupful of Epsom salts or pure sea salt to a warm bath as this is ultra-cleansing for your aura. Try adding a few drops each of Jasmine and Pink Grapefruit essential oils to uplift. Adding some Rose Quartz to the bath water will also help to calm and heal your heart space. Carrying out the ritual on the evening of a Full Moon is healing cleansing and a great time for releasing.

You may also wish to burn some sage to cleanse your aura. If you choose to do this, ensure that you open a window to allow the smoke to leave the atmosphere, taking any residual negative energy away with it. Burning some Palo Santo afterwards will invoke positive energy into the atmosphere.